I am someone who understands my responsibility as a husband, a father, and a man. I take my commitments seriously, and I always ensure to complete my task before I end up throwing myself on the couch or bed. But right after losing the job due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I somehow drifted apart from my positive standpoint in life. I became lethargic and more exposed to technological use. In fact, I spent almost a couple of my time browsing the internet and scrolling up on social media’s newsfeeds. At first, I find it reasonable since there is nothing much to do when locked up. But when I engaged in video games, that is where things began to change.
My wife is a lovely and supportive woman who always takes things into considerations. So when I talked to her about wanting to spend my time playing video games, she agreed immediately. That is when she saw how happy I was with this new set of gaming CDs. She thought that there would be nothing wrong with that. My wife never asked me for anything in return because she feels that nothing much needs to be done in the house. From that agreement, we managed to have a peaceful and easy-going lockdown life amidst the pandemic. But everything started to escalate as soon as I got addicted to playing.
What Went Wrong?
Routines around the house were changing drastically as I continue to play more and more. I do not wake up early anymore because I got to sleep late. Honestly, I think I only spend 2 to 3 hours sleep in bed at night for weeks. I also do not eat meals with my wife anymore, which made her eat on the dining table alone. Admittedly, my hygiene got affected, too, as I never find time to take a bath or even clean myself before going to bed. I was miserable and hopeless.
When my wife finally talked to me about my condition and calmly explained everything terrible that has been happening around the house, I was closed-minded. I was listening to her while she states facts, but I entirely do not care at the back of my mind. I mean, I do understand that my wife only thinks about my overall health. But I was too stupid to believe that she is only using an ample amount of complaints so that she can make me stop playing video games.
Day after day, my wife became so persistent in talking to me about my actions’ consequences. I could tell that she tried her very best to control herself as she often gets an unfavorable response. She was so determined to help me get through the video game addiction phase, which I never knew I was having by that time. My wife tried desperately everything from asking me out on a date to asking me every night for intimacy with the hope of getting rid of my video game time.
On the other hand, I thought I was considerate. I made time for my wife and went out with her. My family and I eat meals together at the table again, and I thought it was okay. I believed that when I gave in to her requests, she would leave me alone with my hobby. I thought I was trying to be nice and more committed despite sensing an invisible barrier between us. I thought because I am moving my ass around the house, it was enough for her to consider allowing me to do what I want to do. Unfortunately, that didn’t go well.
Prepare For The Worse
All my assumptions about my wife and I’s supposed normal relationship went down the hill when she has had enough. One time, when I was busy playing video games, she walked straight towards me with a cooking pan in her hands. I thought she was about to hit me with that. But she smashed it on my computer screen. She then turned her face at me, didn’t say anything, and began to cry. It was at that moment I realized how things are so messed up.
The Instant Effect
Honestly, my wife ruining the computer screen is not the turning point. It was her emotional distress. I was so hooked with a hobby that turned out to be a mental illness, and I didn’t care to help myself. My wife, on the other hand, was struggling with mental and emotional stress because of me. But my wife was trying her best not to create an impact on my well-being. And I thanked her for that. I genuinely appreciate her efforts in helping me get through my addiction despite battling with her own demons.
From then on, I promised never to allow my wife to suffer from mental and emotional issues for an undeniably stupid thing.